Big Brother/Mii/Playing Sportz!

Playing Sportz! is the first episode of the second season of Big Brother, and the sixteenth episode overall.

Sneak Peek
The camera pans down to Tom

TOM: last season, twelve contestants fought for the prize of a lifetime robux subscription...

Insert montage of Paris and Emerson hitting each other

TOM: while teasing hosts that would never happen

Insert the video of that moment when we said Eleni was gonna host S2

TOM: and in the end anita bum took home the crown

Insert video of Anita Bum having a mental breakdown over winning while her mascara is running and it's far from pretty

TOM: but this season of big brother... floaters, you might wanna grab your lifevests, because this will feature some of the hardest competitions, most shocking twists and cut throat personalities you have seen yet!

Insert video of Julie slaying

TOM: this is big brother!

Live on stage, Tom emerges from the ground and walks in

TOM: hello everyone! my name is tom and welcome to the second season of big brother!

The crowd cheers

TOM: so you might be thinking where is eleni

TOM: eleni was burned alive in a tragic "accident"... yeah yeah fire i guess

TOM: so here i am hosting this show

TOM: because i can do things myself and i dont need others to tell me what i can do

TOM: SEE RANTARO I DONT FUCKING NEED YOU GO LOOK FOR YOUR 89233462327 SISTERS YOU STUPID FUCK jk omg ily come back

TOM: this season will feature some of the most exciting blah blah blah yes ok, its time to meet our contestants bUt fIrSt - omg julie is shaking - we will give you a tour of the house

Insert tour of the house, it's upgraded and shit and the only new room is the basement of Kerry Mathis clones

TOM: yes thats right, we have decided to include have nots in our series - which we will probably forget exist by episode 4 - but instead of them having to eat slop they will be fed to kerry mathis clones! yes bitch we are not fucking around this season

TOM: ok LETS MEET THE CUNT ASS CONTESTANTS

TOM: hi what is your name

HARU: hi im haru

TOM: hm

HARU: and i like do stuff for a living

TOM: same honestly

Haru enters the house

TOM: i hate this season already

JULIE: hi im the d-list housewife, im ready to snatch some wigs and throw tables and reveal my secret prosthetic legs

TOM: nevermind i LOVE this season

JULIE: wait is this not the love island set? i signed up for love island

TOM: sis you do NOT want to get on love island, i hear floyd is a contestant

JULIE: please tom if my 2982 past divorces are any indication i love fuckboys

TOM: whatever just get inside the house like the skinny legend you are

JULIE: yes so speaking of skinny legends my good sis mariah carey just dropped her new single and yall should buy it on itunes bc she CLEARLY needs the money

TOM: omg gag

Julie enters the house

TOM: so like who else

MIKE: yo

TOM: um who the fuck are you

MIKE: im mike

TOM: ok bye

Mike enters the house

TOM: i hate these people

ENRIQUE: tom i sense some negative energy coming off of you

TOM: yes its the stress over trying to make scream princesses happen again

ENRIQUE: just let your body set free and lets connect our minds

TOM: um

ENRIQUE: or maybe connect our bodies

TOM: um???

ENRIQUE: lets rub our fat cocks together... maybe a little oil... two fat cocks.... together....... oil

TOM: UMMMM??????

TOM: jk im into that lets go

Tom and Enrique fuck and then he enters the house

TOM: stunning

CHIKA: aYO BITCH

TOM: omg what

CHIKA: IM CHIKA SOFRITA SAZON AYYYYYYYYY

TOM: i love stereotypes

CHIKA: no but i want a large burrito stuffing my hole

TOM: like your mouth or-

CHIKA: MY POUSSEY YOU DUMB GAY TOM

TOM: i have no idea what a vagina is sorry

Chika enters the house

TOM: this is a mess

ALICE: hi im alice im like super chill and idfc and yes same

TOM: i love basics

Tom pushes Alice into the house

A zombie stumbles onto the set

TOM: sorry the dead set is around the corner sweetie

YOSHI: im yoshi??? a contestant?????

TOM: bitch this is big brother not a retirement home

Yoshi karate chops Tom's balls and walks inside the house